Who I Really Am
by Radically-Red
Summary: Serena is struggling to keep life together.So what does she do when somehing happens,that could changer her life forever.
1. Prolouge

Hey guys, by popular demand, I am back! This is a short fanfic (about what, I'm not saying) and will be a prolouge and a couple of chapters, I was gonna make it one shot but I have no other ideas so this is a short story instead. Thanks to Double G for the idea. The song througout the prolouge is One Rebublic-All We Are.

**Who I Really Am-Prolouge.**

My name is Serena Tskuno,

_I tried to paint you a picture._

Sailor Moon,

_The colours were all wrong._

Princess Serenity,

_Black and white didn't fit you,_

Neo-Queen-Serenity,

_And all along_

The wife of Neo-King-Endymion

_You were shaded with patience,_

Mother of Small Lady,

_Your strokes of everything,_

And the bearer of the Silver Imperium Crystal.

_That I need just to make it._

The person who I am not is;

_And I believe that;_

Me.

_I could tear you apart._

That person died along with my mother.

_But it won't break_

I was there when she did, back when Darien used to call me 'meatball head' and Alan and Ann were not in our minds yet.

_Any thing that you are_

I miss my mom.

_We won't say our goodbyes,_

_You know it's better that way,_

_We won't break, _

_We won't die,_

_It's just a moment of change,_

_All We Are,_

_All We Are,_

_Is everything that's right,_

_All we need,_

_All we need,_

_A love that's at a bind_


	2. Goodbye

**Chapter 1-Goodbye**

I was coming out of the arcade, waving goodbye to Andrew and sticking my tounge out to Darien when I heard it.

The sound of tyres screeching.

And a scream.

I'd heard that scream before.

Once when I was seven. My dad had too much to drink, then started lashing out at my mother. Sammy was three and never understood what was going on, execpt that I was scared. So he was too. He slept in my bed that night. From then on we've always hed each other to fall back on, the comfort and be there for each other.

So when I heard my mother scream I ran to find her.

Andrew saw me running and sent Darien after me.

I ran across the road and there was my mother. She was laying in a pool of her own blood.

'Mom!' I screamed.

I remember the feeling of desperation, watching my mother laying there.

She was dying. And there was nothing I could do to stop it.

I rushed over to her side. Darien stayed back, as if unsure what to do. The driver of the car had gone. Hit and run.

'Mom,' I remember saying to her.

'Don't go.'

Mom had shaken her head.

'I have to go. It's my time.' she said.

'Mom,' Tears were in my eyes by then.

'I need you.'

'Sammy needs you more.' she whispered, taking my hand.

I almost forgot about Sammy. My adorable little brother. I needed him as much as he needed me. I could hear Darien calling an ambulance.

'Stick togther and you guys could defeat the world.'

If only she knew I was Sailor Moon and _had _already saved the world. Numerous times by now.

'Mom,' I whispered

'I'm Sailor Moon.'

'I know. I had my suspicions.'

'My darling Serena.' She continued.

'Tell your father I'm sorry. Tell Sammy to be good and eat his greens. And for you, my baby, don't get too involved with saving the world. Make time for homework and friends. Promise me you'll take my advice and tell everyone their's.'

It was like she was going away for a weekend, not forever.

'I promise.'

'Mom!' I heard someone scream.

Sammy came hurtling round the corner, as Amy and Lita joined Darien at the edge of the sidewalk.

'Mom!' he screamed as he dropped to his knees, the other side of her.

'Mom.' He said again as she stroked her cheek and tears filled her eyes.

She closed her eyes as the sound of sirens filled the air. Mina went over to Amy and Lita. They both were crying.

I started screaming. Sammy was still looking at Mom. only this time, tears glazed his eyes. Darien rushed over to me and wrapped his arms round me as Raye rushed round the corner and dropped by my side.

Of course, they both lost their parents too. They were probally only a few of the people who could understand how I felt.

'Serena,' started my little brother.

'What happens now?'

I cry harder as realisation dawns on me.

'I don't wanna think about that.' My voice is muffled as I bury my head my Daren's chest.

'Oh.' Sammy says as he realises too.

'Is there something we don't know?' asked Raye. The same time the ambulance man asks if there are any relatives of Mrs. Tskuno.

'Here!' Sammy shouts.

'Are you coming Serena?'

I bring my head out of Darien's chest.

'I know this sounds impossible, but it will get better.' He says, wiping my cheeks.

'I don't want it to get better, I want it to go away.'

'Do you want me to come with you?'

I see him look at Andrew, he probally got someone to cover for him at the arcade, and Andrew nods his head and winks.

'If you would.' I say as Sammy rushes over to me.

I hug him and promise to be a proper sister to Sammy.

'Serena,' He says, totally unaware of Darien hovering behind him, eavesdropping.

'What's dad gonna do to us?'

I see Darien's ears prick up. He tries to fool me by looking at his cellphone screen. But I see his eyes switch between me and Sammy and his cellphone display.

'I don't know.' I say.

'Probally kill us if had the chance.'

Darien had stepped in by then.

'Why do you think that?'

'Because,' I start,

'He hates us and,'

I hover on the 'and'.

'Us being able to say goodbye to mom and not him will make him madder.' Sammy finishes for me.

I sigh.

'Welcome back to the real world, Serena.'

I grumble as we climb onto the ambulance.

The ambulance sirens filled the air, once again, as the crew worked on ressuatating my dead mother.


	3. Drunk

I've been extremely mean to leave you all hanging so i will give you my best this time around. I have also found out that you are not allowed to put songs in a story fanfic. I will choose to ignore that beacuse it's no harm to quote a few songs in a story to set the mood. I also have a question for you all. would you prefer me to update faster, but have really short chapters. Or me update rarely but when I do, have really long chapters.

I don't own Sailor Moon but my lawyer's working on it.

On with the story...

**Recap Of Chapter 1**

_'Welcome back to the real world, Serena.' _

_I grumble as we climb onto the ambulance._

_The ambulance sirens filled the air, once again, as the crew worked on ressuatating my dead mother._

**Chapter 2-Drunk**

When my father turns up at the hospital all hell breaks loose.

Because, he _had_ to turn up drunk.

'Sammy-boy!' He called out.

'Rena! Daddy's here!'

Like he was expecting us to run into his arms.

We were both in the family room with Darien. Sammy was asleep. He was being cradled in my arms. I was stroking his hair with one hand. Darien was holding the other.

I sighed when I heard my father's voice. I really didn't want to see him today. Not after what happened to Mom.

'Do you want to see him?' Darien asked when I passed Sammy to him.

'It doesen't matter if I _want_ to. I _have _to.' I reply.

I gather up all the courage I have...

...Then walk out the door.

'Rena!' he exclaimed when he saw me.

'Give your old Pops a hug.'

Before I could say anything, he drags me into a massive bear hug.

'Gerrof!' I manage to choke.

'What's the matter? Afraid to give your old man some love?'

'No.' I quickly denied.

'It's just that it's been a really long day. What with what's happened in all.'

'What has happened?' He asked, his voice dropping an octave and sending chills down my spine.

'S... Sh... She...She's... She's...'

'Well spit it out girl!' He grumbled.

'I have no time for this. Where is your mother? She should have dinner ready soon.'

That cracked it for me.

'She's DEAD!' I blurted out.

'She's what?' He asked me.

'Dead. Got hit by a car.' I say, as calm as I can.

**'THAT STUPID WOMAN!' **He roared.

'**YOU ARE JUST LIKE HER! WHAT DID I DO TO GET STUCK WITH THE SPAWN OF SATAN HIMSELF!'**

He then raised his hand to slap me.

Security must have been called halfway through his speech, beacuse when he drew his hand up to slap me, the guard grabbed his hand and twisted hime into a handlock.

Sammy ran into the hallway, just as the guard grabbed dad's hand, closely followed by Darien.

And then there was me. One of the two blonde girls in Japan, standing there, in a muddy school uniform. Watching her father wrestle with a beefy security guard, who was clearly winning.

It was then I knew my life had gone down the pan.


	4. Guilt

_Hey guys, thank you for all the reviews. Only this chapter I'm going to ask for reviews. Because I wonder why other stories have hundreds of reviews and I'm only in the teens. All you hundreds of readers __**please review**_

_I am sooo sorry it's taken me this long to update. I wrote this chapter a few days after the last one was posted, but I said I'd give whoever wanted to review that chapter, the time to review. However, my internet went down for __**ages**__. Everyone living in the area of London that I live in, with Virgin Media as their service provider, would've had the same problem._

_**Double G - **__Thank you for all the reviews. My faithful reviewer kneels down I am not worthy. Anyway clears throat on a more serious note, I didn't like the way your idea came out in this fanfic so I'm starting a new one._

_All other readers do not worry, I am not deleting this fic, I am re-doing my idea in a new fic._

_This story will be wrapped up in either this or the next chapter. I will be doing a one shot (mentioned above) , a couple of CHERUB fics, and I am planning a Harry Potter fanfic about... wait a minute. Why would I tell you that? Evil grin_

_This story is dedicated to Double G. _

_Disclaimer: I have 20 pence in my bank account. Is that enough to buy Sailor Moon? Obiously not, because I __don't__ own it._

_On with the story._

**Recap Of Chapter 2**

_And then there was me. One of the two blonde girls in Japan, standing there, in a muddy school uniform. Watching her father wrestle with a beefy security guard, who was clearly winning._

_It was then I knew my life had gone down the pan._

**Chapter 3 - Guilt**

Dad was sedated that night.

Makes you wonder what types of loonies they'd put the reincarnated Princess of the Moon with.

Of course, I didn't know _that_ back then.

Ever since then the Scouts and Darien treated me different.

Of course, if there was a youma attack, me and Darien would make up silly excuses, then run somewhere.

Only to meet up in the battlefield as Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask.

And we didn't know _that_ either.

Anyway, when my father came back the next morning, there would be hell to pay.

The medicine had left him groggy and slug like.

It was a saturday so, naturally, I was still in bed.

'SERENA!!' He screamed up the stairs.

I never had felt so tired in my life, but I forced myself out of bed and down the stairs.

'Yes,' I mumbled, groggily.

'You,' He started, his nostrils flaring.

Unfortunately he never got to finish because at that moment, Sammy came hurtling down the stairs.

And headfirst into dad.

'GET OFF ME YOU FOOL!' Dad raged.

He then proceeded to throw Sammy off him.

But into the bannister.

There was a sickening _'crack'_ as bone smashed on wood.

There was a light _'thud'_ as Sammy's head hit the ground.

Some blood dripped onto the carpet on the stairs.

I stared at Dad.

He stared at me.

The silence was deafening.

'I can't deal with this anymore.' I heard myself say.

I walked towards the door.

'Wait,' Dad said

'Irene, don't leave me.'

The world came to a standstill.

He called me Irene.

The late Irene Tskuno** (A/N spelling?)**

My mother.

I ran to the door, threw it open and ran out.

I felt like the world was caving in.

Had he only just realised mum was dead?

My legs seemed to run on auto-pilot.

My blood ran cold.

I came to a stop outside Darien's apartment, my destination.

I remembered.

I remembered the _'crack'_ and the _'thud'_.

Sammy.

I had left him there, to die.

I fell to my knees.

I couldn't bare it anymore.

I didn't care anymore.

I didn't care I was in my pyjamas.

I didn't care I was on my knees in the middle of the street.

I didn't care I was sobbing my eyes out.

I didn't care people were staring.

I just wanted Sammy back.

Alive.

'Serena?'

I heard Darien.

Then footsteps.

Then I felt warm arms pick me up.

And I smelt a familiar blast of after shave.

Darien.

He picked me up and carried me all the way to his apartment.

Not saying a word the whole way.

He sat me at the table, then started making some tea.

Still not saying a word.

It was after the tea was made, and we'd both taken big sips.

It was then he asked; 'So tell me everything, Serena.'

So I told him.

Everything.

From when I was so rudely awakened.

To when I was sobbing in the middle of the street.

I was in tears when I'd finished.

'I just don't know what to _do_, Darien. I'm so tired of this.'

'What do you want to do?' Asked Darien.

'Go back and get Sammy.' I replied.

'Well we can't do _that _but we can get someone to go get him.' He said.

'Who?' I asked.

Darien replied with two words.

And with those words my blood ran cold.

'The police.'

I thought for a moment.

Did I really want to send Dad to prison.

Did I want Sammy back.

A few moments I mumbled my awnser.

'Let's do it.'

Turns out Sammy wasn't the only one dead.

Dad was too.

He commited suicide.

When the police found him, he was sprawled atop of Sammy and a note was next to him.

A note adressed to me.

_Dear Serena,_

_I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused._

_I was a drunk, and I was afraid to get help._

_I figured killing myself was better than the greif and the guilt I'd put up with for killing Sammy._

_Even if you never forgive me you'll still be my darling angel._

_And I want you to know I loved you._

_Even when I said I didn't._

_Don't feel guilty for me._

_I had this coming a long while ago._

_I was just too blind to see it._

_-Dad_

I didn't feel guilty.

I didn't feel pain.

I didn't feel relief.

I didn't feel.

I couldn't.

The days after went like a blur.

I knew I was staying with Darien.

He refused to let me go to a foster home.

He also said it would be harder for me than it was for him when his parents died.

I would be able to remember my family, he couldn't.

In some ways it made it harder.

And others, easier.

I remember the funeral like it was yesterday.

Tons of relatives I'd never heard of, of mum and dad's sides of the family, were crying their hearts out for relatives they hardly ever knew.

I was sitting next to Darien.

We had the whole back row to ourselves.

We were both trying our best to be formal.

Darien was in a black suit and tie with a white shirt.

He looked extremely uncomfortable.

I, on the other hand, was wearing a pair of black turned-up black trousers, a plain white blouse, a halterneck waistcoat with black patent pumps and a black satchel bag.

I was meant to be doing a speech.

I couldn't help but feel nervous.

'Now the surviving daughter would like to say a few words.' The priest said calmly.

You could tell he'd done _that_ a few times.

I was the only one to speak, so I made my way up to the lectern.

'Ken and Irene Tskuno were my parents. Samuel Tskuno was my brother.

'Mom always used to cook. Whenever I'd come home dinner would be cooking and she would have baked cookies or cup-cakes for a snack.

'Dad used to read _The Times_. Come rain or sun he _had _to have his morning paper. And his coffee in the morning. He _always _smelled of coffee and aftershave.

'Sammy was annoying. From calling me 'meatball head' to playing pranks; he always had something to tease me about. In return I'd tease him about a girl he secretly liked or use up all the hot water when it was his turn for a bath.

'It was those little things that I remember the most.

'But it's the little things like that I'll miss the most.

'Ken and Irene Tskuno. Sammy Tskuno.

'Mom and Dad. My little brother.

'Rest in peace. You deserve it.'

After that I slipped to my place, silent tears of prayer, streaming down my cheeks.

_**A/N: **__Well that was unexpected. I apoogize for any cases of depression I may have caused. It wasn't intentional._

_An hour ago I was watching the Blair Witch. It was soo freakish. The end was the best bit. I swear that the guy facing the wall was dead and he had some charm or something on him to do that. I like the fact like it was real. Of course it could all be faked. But I don't believe that. I mean when Heather found the sticks, there was Josh's fingers and some bones wrapped up in his shirt. You could not fake that. But it was still freakish, faked or not..._

_OK... moving on. This story will be wrapped up in the next chapter. 'Till then._

_Tata_

_Bex_


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